Theres been some pretty heavy stuff on my heart lately. And one of the things was how I always tend to look at people who are these “Christian Leaders” and think about “how much them and God must be clicking” or, “How can they be saying one thing, and acting out another”. I would consider myself someone who wants to portray the Gospel and rep Jesus in every aspect of my life. Theres a problem with that. My life doesn’t line up with that of Jesus’ most of the time. I have become one of the Pharisees that Jesus said were fake. I have become the one thing I never wanted to be, a hypocrite. Now I’m not saying we all have to attain a perfect standard, because lets face it, we cant and wont. But I also feel that people who read these posts might have this idea of me of “someone who really loves Jesus”, therefore I should act like it. Well the problem is, I don’t act like it, and its getting the best of me. Sure its easy to say all the right things, “Jesus loves you” “Just love God with all your heart”. But doing it has been the hard part, and I don’t feel right about writing this blog which is meant to spur people on to love Jesus. I’m not giving this blog up or anything, I’m just taking a break, time to get right with JC, who makes it possible to write about heartache and failure and love and grace and struggles. Its not fair to you to hear me say one thing, and then not follow through. I see it all the time, people who are all about Jesus, love Him, “live their lives for Him”, yet just don’t get it. They don’t get that a relationship with Jesus means your life might look different, that we are “dead to sin because we are alive in Christ”. This sickens me, it disgusts me and saddens me because people notice it, people start to question this “Jesus we are following”. They don’t even want a part of it. So I have found myself in those shoes, saying things, doing others.
I don’t want to be a hypocrite anymore. When I start writing again, I want it to be cause me and JC are so tight that I want to write about Him and how I’m seeing Him work in my heart and in the people around me.
“Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.”~ Proverbs 16:3
“Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.”-Matthew 10:32
“He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: ” ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”-Mark 7:6
-Brandon
March 1, 2009 at 8:49 pm |
Know that sometimes the most powerful messages are the ones that come from our struggles. The more we can be transparent and vocal in times like you are having, the more you are being who Christ intended. If people who don’t know the Lord read this blog, then they will probably relate more with that anyways.
Just a word of encouragement! Sometimes it can be good to just sit and think, so either way it is fine.
Holler